Strong Apricot

And another one bites the dust. Theocratic nutwing Rick Santorum has suspended his presidential campaign, leaving room for Mitt Romney to become the 2012 Republican nominee.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;

The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,

And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;

But there is no joy in Gettysburg — mighty Ricky has struck out.

Maybe this video had something to do with his suspension? Now this is the Super (FUDGE)Pac. #wankout2012

More analysis after the jizzump.

One of the best things to come out of the February 7 Ninth Circuit Appeals Court ruling that affirmed Prop 8 is unconstitutional:

Modern Family gay couple Mitchell (gingay Jesse Tyler Ferguson) + Cameron (gay for pay Eric Stonestreet) both posted the images on their WhoSay pages (JTF + ES).

And now the less fun part:

Romney penned his own dissent on his website:

Today, unelected judges cast aside the will of the people of California who voted to protect traditional marriage. This decision does not end this fight, and I expect it to go to the Supreme Court. That prospect underscores the vital importance of this election and the movement to preserve our values. I believe marriage is between a man + a woman and, as president, I will protect traditional marriage and appoint judges who interpret the Constitution as it is written and not according to their own politics + prejudices.

This coming from the man who switched his support of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) saying that the bill would “unfairly penalize employers at the hands of activist judges.” Hypocrite!

Gingrich Tweeted:

Court of Appeals overturning CA’s Prop 8 another example of an out of control judiciary. Let’s end judicial supremacy.

This coming from the man who wants to abolish entire courts to prevent “activist judges” from making decisions that are “so radically anti-American that they are a threat to the fabric of the country.” He also stated that he wants to send the United States Capitol Police or U.S. Marshalls to arrest such judges who will have to defend their decisions before Congressional hearings. Really?

Santorum also Tweeted:

7M Californians had their rights stripped away today by activist 9th Circuit judges. As president I will work to protect marriage.

This coming from the man who believes that the American public and their elected officials should decide on such “incredibly important moral issues” instead of the Supreme Court’s “nine unelected, unaccountable judges.” Classy.

This Republican race is more flipflop than a Rainbow sandal. Mitt Romney won the closed Florida primary, snagging nearly 50% of the vote and all of the Sunshine State’s fifty delegates (though half were deducted by the Republican National Committee because Florida moved its primary before March 6). Newt Gingrich placed second with 32% of the vote, followed by Rick Santorum at 13% and Ron Paul’s 7% rounding out the pack.

CNN thinks Romney took the crucial Floridian Latin vote because of some powerful Latin endorsements and the beating Gingrich took from the Floridian media. When did Newt claim that Spanish was “the language of the ghetto”? What a maroon.

Also, Santorum’s apparently “prisoner of the gays.” The vitriolic remarks he made about gay rights are now coming back to haunt him like a spicy dinner.

ANALysis after the jizzump.

With the Republican field contracting like a sphincter, new darkhorse Newt Gingrich suddenly became the frontrunner, decisively winning the South Carolina primary. Gingrich took 40% of the vote to Mitt Romney’s 28%, followed by Rick Santorum’s 17% and Ron Paul’s 13% bringing up the rear.

Oh, and just for shits + giggles, read this hilarious op/ed from FOX psychiatrist, Dr. Keith Ablow, that claims that Gingrich’s “open relationship(s)” not only make him a qualified presidential candidate, but may make him so desirable that another country may try to “seduce” him into becoming their president. I got no words. Okay, two words: “GTFO Bitch.”

Get the ANALysis after the jizzump.

Conservative Texas Governor Rick Perry has officially dropped out of the 2012 presidential race just ahead of the South Carolina primary and has endorsed Newt Gingrich.

Perry stated that “there is no viable path forward for [him] in this 2012 campaign.” Of his endorsement of Gingrich, Perry added: “I have no question that Newt Gingrich has the heart of a conservative reformer, the ability to rally and captivate the conservative movement. The courage to tell those Washington interests to take a hike if that’s what’s in the best interest of our country. He believes we need a conservative for president and Mitt Romney is not conservative.”

Ugh, the Republican presidential candidate field is still narrowing to some vile candidates, but good riddance to a man who thought anti-sodomy laws make sense.

Perry just needs to take his own advice and be “Strong.”

Mitt Romney has officially won the 2012 Republican New Hampshire primary with a decisive 38% of the vote to Ron Paul’s 22% and Jon Huntsman’s 16%. Newt Gingrich (9%), Rick Santorum (9%) and Rick Perry (0.71%) brought up the rest of the pack.

You know the ANALysis is after the jizzump.

On the eve of the New Hampshire Republican primary, below is my ranking of the candidates of the ABC News/WMUR-TV Republican debate. It’s fun to watch them rip each other apart and hear some of ludicrous soundbites.

ANALysis after the jump.

Iowa caucuses are ~~queer~~ here!

With Barack Obama the uncontested winner of the Democratic caucuses, the Republican dogfight can take center stage. During the tenth round of Republican presidential caucuses in the Hawkeye State, the winner in a nailbiting finnish appears to be former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney (24.6%), followed thisclose by former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum (24.5%) with Texas Representative Ron Paul (21%) edging into third place. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (13%), Texas Governor Rick Perry (10%), Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann (5%) and former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman (1%) round out the pack.

The first casualty of the Iowa caucuses: Bachmann. Check out her official announcement here.

Check out my ANALysis after the jump.

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